Once upon a time there was a girl who dreamed of her prince charming, who would come into her life and sweep her off of her feet. She didn't think he'd be an alcoholic.
Funny (not) how life throws people and things into your life, especially when it definitely does not conform to your dreams. I now know that my Higher Power had different things in mind for me besides living happily ever after with Prince Charming.
Welcome to my life, my blog.
Through two marriages, both alcoholics, I find myself working the wonderful, spiritual program of Al-Anon; a twelve step program for friends and families of alcoholics. The last four years of my life have been some of the worst and some of the best. Depends on what day we're talking about. Because, believe you me, there were some humdingers. Looking back, it seems almost surreal that I would find myself having to make the daily decisions I did and come through the other side, stronger and better than I could've imagined.
One of my favorite blogs to visit is The Pioneer Woman. The Pioneer Woman, Ree, seems to have the Prince Charming I was supposed to get, except she calls hers the Marlboro Man. My Prince Charming kinda fell short of the mark, but he was a wonderful man, with a very sick, insidious illness, alcoholism. I know there are many people, my kids included, who do not consider alcoholism a disease. God bless you and may you never find yourself in an alcoholic relationship. For those of you who are in alcoholic relationships, God bless you, too, for you know the daily struggles living with the disease whether the alcoholic is drinking or not. To be continued...............
On a lighter note (or not), I went shopping for a bathing suit today. There should be a law against mirrors being placed 12 inches from your nose in a dressing room. This does not enhance the experience (torment) of having to squeeze your body into an impossibly small, stretchy, piece of fabric that does not leave much to the imagination as to what body flaws you are trying to conceal. Droopy boobs and all.
I go to the gym about 5 to 6 times a week and have been for the past 10 years. I was a thin, 115 pound, 39 year old back then. Through some perverseness of nature, things don't stay where they're supposed to and despite my best efforts to keep everything up and in through vigorous exercise, mother nature has defied me. She's let me down. She's exacting her revenge on my poor body. Nothing is where it's supposed to be anymore and I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!
I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will have to exercise the rest of my life if I want to fight the battle and have a slim chance of winning. My young, nubile body is a thing of the past and I can only remember what it looked like when I see my 19 year old daughter in a bathing suit. She'll get hers in due time.
I'm not in bad shape, actually I'm in pretty good shape, just not the shape I want to be in. I want the body that has been lipoed, tucked and trimmed. Ain't gonna happen the clinical way, so I guess I'll keep going back to the gym, one day at a time.